Attending her brother-in-law’s wedding, the user Harrishoole shared her exasperation in a post that has since received more than 280 replies.
She wrote: “Brother-in-law is getting married in an hour and a half. Don’t know what to do. Feel as if I am going to vomit.”
What had caused her such anguish? She explained: “[I] checked into the hotel to find sister-in-law with her cousins and bridesmaids and two flower girls. Our two girls are not invited.”
While child-free weddings have become more popular in recent years, they also often cause controversy among guests.
But wedding advice site The Knot says that you shouldn’t feel guilty about choosing to have no children at your wedding: “Your wedding list is ultimately up to you. So if you want a child-free celebration, you’re completely welcome to it.”
The site does however warn that many guests may not get the message or will feel upset or offended. While stressing the importance of making your intentions clear from the first invite, The Knot suggests doing this by ensuring each guest’s name is clearly printed, and not by printing “adults only” on the invitations, which can quickly ruffle feathers.
Clearly upset about the child-free rule, the Mumsnet user continued to share her frustration in the now-viral post: “It became very obvious to me and [my] mother-in-law that my children were not going to be invited to the wedding, logically none of our business but it was hurtful and upsetting. I thought my husband would be accepting but he was completely offended. He approached [my] brother-in-law who spoke to [my] sister-in-law. Kids not invited.”
The wedding had been postponed after the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, forcing the couple to reschedule. But despite the rearrangement, the children were still not included in the wedding day.
“[My] husband is best man,” explained the Redditor: “I don’t know if I should ring him and warn him and my mother-in-law. I am scared there will be an atmosphere when they walk in.”
But Mumsnet users were not sympathetic, with many rushing to the comments to share their thoughts.
“Sorry but it feels like you’re making a big drama here that isn’t going to help anyone,” said one commenter. “It’s up to the couple getting married to decide who to invite. Just accept that your kids aren’t there and enjoy the wedding.”
“It’s their wedding, they’re allowed to invite who they like,” said another reply. “Your children were not on that list.”