Although the newlywed did not appreciate his friend’s sense of humor, the response was more mixed when the best man shared the gag online.
Writing on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” thread, the 34-year-old man explained that his friend, 36, was getting married for the second time after his first marriage had ended in divorce.
The man had also served as best man at the first wedding and while preparing for his second appearance in the role, he came across a gag that he thought was perfect for the circumstances.
“I saw this joke online and it made me laugh so I stole it for my opening speech,” he said.
Waiting until everyone was seated, the best man began by quipping: “Right well… welcome back everyone.”
According to the best man, the joke “got more than a few laughs” from the wedding guests and even the bride “seemed to find it hilarious.”
At the time, he felt that “everything went well.” It was only later, after a few drinks, that the groom confronted his friend, saying he had been “out of line with that kind of joke” and had “embarrassed him” with a gag that “wasn’t funny.”
The groom said he “shouldn’t have brought his last marriage into this,” but his friend was unsure. “A best man’s speech will always be more jokey than anything and beyond that it was fairly tame and that was the only reference to his last marriage,” he argued on Reddit.
Many on the forum—where the post has garnered almost 9,000 votes and more than 800 comments—were inclined to agree.
“It was a harmless, fun joke that made people laugh,” wrote GoodGirlsGrace. “He’s entitled to [be] feeling what he feels—but damn, the joke.”
IcyLizard4 posted: “I laughed when he said the bride was even laughing, so at least she’s got a good sense of humor.”
Devilicious agreed, writing: “Yeah if the bride found it funny everyone else should mind theirs.”
Duke113 thought: “Joking about a third time would not be cool. But joking about being back I think is pretty funny. It’s not like it’s a secret.”
Other Redditors sided with the groom, however.
“Why don’t the groom’s feelings matter here?” asked Jilltro, who explained that she had broken off an engagement before marrying some years later. “I would have been devastated if someone made a joke about it on my wedding day, especially in front of everyone.”
AQualityKoalaTeacher wrote: “It’s the Groom’s wedding and he didn’t want to be reminded of a marriage gone wrong or the inference that the day was less special.”
RealLifeLizLemon wasn’t convinced that the bride was really amused, posting: “There’s a good chance the bride laughed because that was expected of her and she didn’t want to make a scene.”
One of the more moderate responses came from Notdeadyet090, who concluded: “It obviously upset the groom which is something you should avoid doing on their wedding day. You didn’t say it in a mean or spiteful way though.”
According to the Wedding Ideas website, the best man should not take mockery of the groom too far in his speech.
“Character assassinations are never popular and you don’t want to come across as cruel,” it states. “It is all about how you phrase things! You can mock and tease without being unkind.”
Wedding Ideas also says it is a cardinal sin to mention an ex during the big day. “However chilled out the bride is about the groom’s past, she doesn’t want to be reminded of any ex-girlfriends on her wedding day, even if there is a good story behind it,” they explain.
Given this, the groom may have been justified—as were the majority of Redditors who voted the best man the a**hole.